A year ago, I sat at my desk staring at my laptop waiting for something to happen. My hair had been in a messy bun since March, and I had mastered the art of long-conversation with my dog. The pandemic was in full swing, and I was in a crappy funk. I rarely left home. Everything on my calendar had cancelled with no plan to reschedule. I was trying to pivot the way I worked with private clients to make it work in the new virtual world. It was frustrating and exhausting.
When my husband and daughter would get home, all I wanted to do was talk...since they were the only people I saw I wanted to "be with people". Well - by the time they got home from work and school, the last thing they wanted was to "be with people"...me and my chatty self learned to shut up. The crappy funk started to become a depression.
Initially, it was fun not having anything on my calendar. I spent a lot of time learning about web marketing, social media advertising and the latest in wrinkle creams. I cleaned, organized...sort of. I mastered the perfect lighting for Zoom meetings in my office (but I had no Zoom meetings on the calendar). I sent friends heartfelt handwritten notes a few times.
The past month, things are getting back track. Working with former and new clients, coming up with short and long term plans, I even styled and hosted 3 1-hour live fashion show tv-ish programs(see them here, here and here)...all good stuff. But what really made me rise from the dead was a project I was fortunate to be a part of last week.
It started as the kind of inquiry where I think I am getting punked; large scale, last minute, editorial photography project that needed a wardrobe stylist. That thing that makes my heart beat fast. After research and driving 5ish hours to the site of the photoshoot (still not fully convinced I wasn't wasting my time) I found myself part of a team of photogs from all over the world, led by one from LA (who is kinda a big deal). I was working with models whose faces you've all seen...all over the place. I worked for hours HOURS researching and collecting wardrobe for a project I didn't know much about. That 'fear of failure' thing was alive and well...but as the meme says, NOT TODAY SATAN!
After sitting in my white chair, at my white desk, in my grey office, while wearing my favorite Lululemon Align pants waiting for something to happen. It was happening. And let me tell you - when that part of you that makes you ALIVE lights up again...it feels like magic. And, the icing on the cake was the team I worked with. We spoke the same language, like we had been working together for years. They loved my work. They instantly trusted me as someone who had been doing 'this' for 20 years.
The pandemic funk? It disappeared.
I know I'm not the only one who has been sitting waiting for something to happen for the past year and half. Getting out of the funk isn't easy. Getting over the strange social anxiety that the pandemic created and realizing it's OK to be around other people is a mind-bender. Now that we are vaccinated and can safely go about our lives mask-free...just do it. Get out. Live life. Shake off the funk, put on a cute skirt and ditch the workout pants...have a fantastic overpriced glass of wine.
The only down side? Your dog will miss you.
...put on your favorite shoes and brightest lipstick AND GO TAKE ON THE DAY!